huffingtonpost - 10 hours ago

Working dads have opened up about what it’s like to juggle work and parenting – particularly with barriers like the UK’s measly paternity leave offering and outdated gender stereotypes among senior staff members standing in their way.A new research project conducted by WOMBA (Work, Me and the Baby) in partnership with Hult International Business School set out to understand how businesses can better help parents thrive in the workplace.Its survey, which involved 706 working parents (333 of which were dads), involved in-depth interviews with parents, answered anonymously to get their most honest insights into what life is truly like juggling work and raising kids.Nearly two-thirds (64%) of dads claimed the return to work after having a baby was challenging – 57% reported feeling moderate to extreme guilt, one in four (25%) felt unsettled on their return, 55% struggled with resilience, and more than half (51%) said they struggled with self-esteem.The survey found that identity tension is one of the biggest hurdles, with nearly three-quarters (72%) reporting that balancing their parental and work identities was challenging.Other challenges included workload (71%), time away from home (70%), and difficulty separating work and family life (66%).
Fathers shared what they wish others – particularly employers – knew about what they’re going through:Becoming a father appears to alter work opportunities“I know of dads who’ve been made redundant – and I’m convinced the only reason they’d be[en] made redundant is because they work three days a week, not five.”“I think the biggest way I can say it is: I was always seen as a very, very strong promotion candidate until I had a child.”Dads struggle with the juggle, too“I basically realised in trying to juggle everything ... I wasn’t being a particularly good father, and I wasn’t being a particularly good employee either. So it was sort of [the] worst of both worlds.”“My commitment is to make sure [my children] have a pleasant upbringing, not daddy being busy at work, because that’s what he chose to do... If I chose to have these children at home, I’ve got to work out and de-prioritise certain things in my life and I think now’s the time for me to put a break on my career.”Dads struggle with a new identity in the workplace“I think it’s also different for men... As a man, you’re not necessarily seen as the parent, you’re seen as a person who has children.” “There’s this unconscious bias there that I, as the dad, am going to be out playing golf. And I will have all the afternoon free, which actually is the opposite.”Childcare costs don’t add up“If my wife worked full time as well as me, we’d end up losing money because of the childcare [cost]. By her being part time and me being full time means we earn more than if we both work full time, which is quite ridiculous.” Equality can make a difference“I think getting men to do childcare is absolutely crucial... For the kids, for the dads, for the mums, for the workplace, for the economy... it just needs to happen as soon as possible.”“I think getting men to look after babies is crucial… All sorts of problems I think will be solved if we could find a way for men to take a fair share of [parental] leave.”Dads need support at work, tooFathers want organisations to help them better prepare to re-enter the workplace after having kids – 39% were not offered Keep in Touch (KIT) days, 39% did not have communication from HR during leave, and one-third (33%) did not have communication from their manager.More than half (52%) were not offered a return-to-work interview, and 42% were not offered a phased return to work.Some noted once they were back at work, they had come up against generational biases in the workplace around the division of childcare responsibilities – there were mentions of senior managers who were likely to raise an eyebrow if male employees had to miss meetings or take time off to deal with a childcare issue.In some instances, HR teams placed more barriers in the way, rather than helping to remove them. In the UK, working dads are entitled to two weeks paternity leave on less than half the minimum wage, while self-employed dads get nothing. It has been described as the least generous paternity offer in Europe.One working dad interviewed for the research said confusion with his HR team over paternity leave policy lasted two months, and to resolve it, he needed to obtain legal advice.Discussing the gap between organisations’ words and action, another dad said: “Tokenism plays a big part. Everyone’s aware [of] what they should be saying. But saying things is one thing. Actually doing it is a very different matter. “So people say, ‘we’re going to support you as a parent’, but then they don’t actually do it.”Here’s what dads want to see change“It would be to make father’s [paternity] leave as long as mother’s [maternity] leave without it biting into the other parents’ allocation.”“An open and clear HR policy for working parent staff.”“Giving parents and new parents a sense of belonging and recognising their position and challenges as a parent.”“Family friendly policies, benefits, career development, flexible work arrangements.”“Parental leave allowance, flexibility in working hours, care during the parental leave.”Helen Sachdev, working parent champion and director of WOMBA, said “the system still treats having children as a ‘women’s issue’ and fails to recognise the impact on dads or support their ability to parent”. “We know dads want to parent, but outdated policies and expectations continue to force too many fathers to sacrifice parenthood for a career at a cost to everyone – mums, families, businesses and the economy. This must change.”Related...Dads Struggle In The Early Days Of Parenthood, Too – Where s Their Support?Dads Have Had Enough. They re Going On Strike – Here s Why I Was A Shadow Of A Man : Self-Employed Dads On The Fight For Paternity Pay

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